I knew then that I was in the wrong place. I just got there looking for someone to talk to. And then, there yoi were.. I met you.
You were so funny, I laughed out loud a lot that late night. I got so comfortable talking to a stranger like you. It almost felt like I knew you before, but I actually don't. We're complete strangers but somehow, we're friends instantly. And I was thinking to myself, "Who would've thought I'll find a friend in a place like this?"
I considered you a friend that instant to the point that I even gave you my number, which is very unusual of me. We talked more, and then.. I heard you. You were so adorable. I was sold instantly, and you didn't even have to try.
As days passwd, we knew a lot of things about each other more. Smart, funny, argumentative, passionate and quite frankly, a pervert -- you were all those things, and I actually like that about you. So brutally honest, as well. I might even be close to saying I love those things about you.
All of a sudden, you scared me. You scared the hell out of me. I hear your voice every night, and I think about you every day and our conversations together. I'm afraid that I might fall for you. And then you told me, "I'm scared for you too."
I can't even remember the last time I held my tears while talking to someone on the phone just for them not to hear me crying. I know I'm being a pathetic. But it fucking stung when you told me you're not gonna fall for me. It fucking hurt me. It's not that I want you to fall for me. It's just that your words are fucking salt to my wounds and I was helpless. And I confronted you for it, and because you're you, I lost. And then I got scared shitless because of your tone that night. I was so tired and I was happy we're talking that time, but it all turned into a nightmare when our conversation, and honestly our 'relationship', whatever that is, got complicated. I can still remember it vividly in my head. I can still remember the tone of your voice and I can still feel the physical pain of holding back the noises I made while sobbing. I'm so fucking pathetic.
That was the day that I promised I'm gonna detach from you. Maybe that's why we're not talking anymore, or maybe more like why I don't know how to talk to you anymore. I'm just writing this coz I kind'a miss it. I'm fighting myself coz I don't wanna be in too deep. I know you like someone else and I know you're too busy with your hobbies and weird fetishes, but if there's one thing I want you to know, it's this:
It's true when I told you I was happy I met you. I really am. You brought new shades of color to my life, and I'm grateful for it.
But now, I may have to stick to black and white. After all, my life has been that way for too long. Might as well get used to living on it by now.
PS. I called this The Hentai Prince coz your name tastes foreign in my mouth. I'm not even gonna start practicing now. And please don't ask me to say your name, I might as well say fuck you.
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